Horoscopes : Fashion Edition
By: GENINA BYERS
Capricorn 12.22-1.19
Poor child! If only I could give you a magic wand to put some creativity into your fashion psyche. Everything you wear is too old for your age, and you don’t mind wearing the same thing twice in the same week. Bottom line: throw everything out of your closet, and go shopping! Lucky color: Black
Aquarius 1.20-2.18
Can you say identity crisis? Girl, hurry up and get some help! When it comes to fashion, you are as clueless as a big girl at a salad bar! You need assistance; especially when it comes to coordinating and accessories. Pick a style, and stick to it! Lucky color: Deep blue
Pisces 2.19-3.20
Oh, what’s the use? If I try to give you any advice, you’re just gonna start crying. But then again, if I had your taste in clothes, I’d shed a few tears! I’ll keep it simple, okay? Don’t be afraid to express yourself with bolder colors, and cool prints. Lucky color: Turquoise
Aries 3.21-4.19
Like you, your clothes say you’re daring and creative; but to be real, they really say impulsive and crazy! Look, you obviously pull off anything you wear, just don’t go overboard with wild colors, and out of style prints. Oops, too late! Lucky color: Red
Taurus 4.20-5.20
I wish someone would shake some life into your wardrobe. You just don’t give a damn–and it shows! Yeah, I know you aren’t the trendy type; but come on! Would it kill you to coordinate your outfits; or even better, actually iron them? Lucky color: Soft blue
Gemini 5.21-6.20
The way you dress almost makes my head explode! Your bipolar personality comes out in full force with your leopard-print pants, and “I’m trying to look as young as possible” shirts. Let me guess, you went off your medication again? Lucky color: Orange
Cancer 6.21-7.22
You can’t have it both ways, Ms. Moody. On one hand, you try to act shy; and yet, you find the skimpiest outfits that make everything pop out. If you’re gonna dress like a stripper, then own it! But don’t come out with this “I’m a church girl” attitude–please! Lucky color: Yellow
Leo 7.23-8.22
Do you have one outfit that doesn’t scream: “Please, please, please give me a compliment!” Look, everything doesn’t look good on you, got it? My suggestion: wear a potato sack for a couple of months, and give the showboating a rest! Lucky color: Gold
Virgo 8.23-9.22
Your clothes really show off how nervous and worried you always are. I bet you still have an outfit from ten years ago, don’t you? Here’s an idea: take a drastic risk and actually add some daring colors to your closet; like anything not dull! Lucky color: Cream
Libra 9.23-10.22
Well, I’ll give you props for being different; but when you are on the brink of looking like you stepped out of 1986 – it’s time to talk! I guess you are just trying to show how unique and stylish you are. But actually, all people are seeing is indecisive madness! Lucky color: Green
Scorpio 10.23-11.21
If you are trying to show how soft and sensual you are through your wardrobe; sorry, try again! The only thing that’s displayed is your obsessive I think I am so damn sexy look. Do us all a favor and turn down the sex–o–meter! Lucky color: Deep Red
Sagittarius 11.22-12.21
Always the energetic, optimistic one, your wardrobe is something clothing designers look to when they want just rolled out of bed look. In other words, you might want to step up from homeless to I’m not coming home tonight! Lucky color: Purple
