Love Jones: Relationship Help From Miss Know It All
My man always tells me I think I am better than he is because I have a college degree and a great paying job. How do I show him I love him and accept him as he is? – Accepting Lady
Dear Accepting,
In some aspects, he is shy of accepting you as you are. To some degree, in accepting you as you are, he has to accept your success in the work place. We all know, that men and women are different and those things less significant to us, are more integral to a man’s code of ethics. Make the small things count in your relationship and focus on those things that make the two of you happy. Never make a man feel less than a man…regardless of whether or not you are the largest breadwinner. Solicit his opinions when spreading the dough around. Get old school on the brother. Before ordering dinner, discuss it among the two of you…but when the waiter returns, let him place the order. For men sometimes being in control is no more than driving the car. And remember that what works in the boardroom, doesn’t always work in the bedroom.
I emotionally fell in love with my best friend. I’ve never been attracted to another woman before in my life. What should I do? Does this mean I am gay? – Confused
Confused GirlFriend,
Emotions are one of the hormone driven characteristics that separate men from women. Women are more emotional feelers and men are more practical thinkers. Falling in love with someone is complex; however, your sexual preference is not only determined by what’s on the inside, but also by what attracts you physically. If you have fallen in love with your friend because she has always been there for you… then this could be mere admiration. That is what makes the two of you best friends. On the contrary, if you are physically attracted to her and are interested in becoming more intimate, I would say that you have some soul searching to do though don’t be so quick to label yourself. Labels are merely labels. You must find yourself, love yourself, and then be true to who you are. If not, the only labels you will be wearing are Confused and Hypocrite.
I went to a bachelorette party; it was almost the end of the party when I arrived. As I greeted everyone the male stripper came out of the bedroom with the guest of honor. The stripper was my sisters’ fiancé. Should I snitch? He says he was stripping to get money to buy them a new house. – Stripped
Dear Stripped,
Blood is thicker than water and once the brotha saw you, he knew the cat was out of the bag. When it involves your sister it is not considered snitching. Her best interest takes precedence over any excuse that he has. If he has intentions of marrying your sister, I am sure he understands where you are coming from. Once she is aware of his part time gig; it is solely up to her to decide whether or not she still plans to marry him. You are only your sister’s keeper; she will be the one forsaking all others…
What do I do if I’m thinking about an ex years after it’s over and I always compare other women to her? I even compare possible relationships to the one that I had with the ex. – XFactor
Dear XFactor,
It sounds like there is either unfinished business between you and your ex, or you are holding on to old baggage. Regardless of which it is, it must be resolved before you will have a successful relationship with another woman. It is natural to compare the next to the ex; however, it isn’t healthy when it interferes with present relationships. If there is any chance of reconciliation between you and your ex (and this MUST be mutual), reach out to her and go from there. On the other hand, if this is clearly a relationship that is over (and keep in mind that if it is over in her eyes… it is over), you must bring closure to these haunting feelings and move on. There is nothing more unattractive and scary than an ex who just doesn’t get it. And as for reconciliation…my experience has been that the relationship ended for a reason and revisiting old demons isn’t the best way to go. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone and holding onto yesterday’s baggage may cause you to miss your flight today.
